Dear students,
As we neared the end of the school year, I found myself relating to you much more than I ever thought I would. After being with you-growing and learning with you- I couldn’t help but see myself again at your place, at 14.
At 14, we face the same insecurities and share the same victories. We both have dreams, aspirations, and want the same things. We want to be popular and have a great future. We have big dreams, want to change the world and think anything is possible.
Still, however big our dreams may be, reality always strikes us.
I get it. You’re under incredible stress right now. School is almost everything. Both you and your parents have very high expectations.
To be successful in life, you need to be well educated. To be well educated, you need to go to the best school. To get into the best school, you need to do well in your current school and do well on that dreaded test. To do well in that test, you need to spend countless hours studying. To help you study harder, you need to go to a cram school. You did badly on your test? Work harder and study some more. It’s as simple as that, an endless cycle. It’s the only path to success.
Or is it?
Success should not be measured by fame or money. It should be measured by your own little victories, your own accomplishments. The recipe to success is different for everyone. You have to make your own recipe for it, you have the power to choose the ingredients and decide what the outcome should be.
Girls, embrace your intelligence. Don’t play dumb because boys seem to like it. The ones that will actually respect you will admire your intelligence. State your opinions, but be careful with your words. Words can hurt and poison other people. So always speak with eloquence and aspire to have high hopes and dreams. Work towards them and everything else will fall into place.
I know you want to find love. You want to have that great, romantic, princess-like story that you’ve read about since you were little. You want to be swept off your feet by that chivalrous prince charming.
Love, in theory is great. But don’t spend all your energy on it. You need to learn how to love yourself before you can properly love someone else. Love your body. No body is perfect and every girl has insecurities about her own appearance. Yes, even the prettiest and most popular girl at school.
So, focus on yourself. Love yourself. Learn new things, develop interests and you will be happier. You should be the one controlling your own happiness, not prince charming.
Boys, be in touch with your emotions. You alone can tell yourself/know what type of man you what to be, and make sure to be the best at it.
Manhood is nothing but a construct, an idea stemmed from society. You don’t have to be this super macho man and prove the others you’re super tough. You don’t have to solve your problems through violence. You don’t have to be exceptionally athletic or like sports to prove your manhood.
Of course, you will get bullied. The adults around you, namely your parents, will tell you to fight back, even if you don’t want to.
You will be told to hold back your tears, even if you know crying will help you feel so much better.
You will be convinced that stupid ideas are actually brilliant ones by your fellow friends, even if you know nothing good will come out of them.
And sometimes, you will have no choice but to succumb to those ideals. You will feel powerless and it’s sometimes okay. You can’t win every single fight. You’ll have to pick them and it will feel like the end of the world. But your life will get better. You will meet better people and make better friends. High school is supposed to be awkward, terrible even. It’s okay if you’re riddled with all of these emotions. It’s okay if you feel that your parents don’t understand you. You will do stupid things and get into trouble. It’s okay. It’s all part of growing up.
Oh, and another thing: follow your heart. I know it’s difficult, trust me, I’ve been there. It’s nearly impossible to go against your parents’ will. They are the ones that have raised you, you were raised to obey them and fulfill their dreams. You’ve been their source of pride ever since you were little. You had this pressure to perform, to outdo everyone around you for as long as you can remember, everything was like a competition. But you’ve grown accustomed to it. You’ve been conditioned to think that way, and it has brought you this far. Your parents really do know what’s good for you.
Still, not matter what, remember this: don’t forget yourself. It’s your life, not theirs. Your happiness should be just as important. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re always the last one in the rankings. It’s okay to suck at school. Maybe you weren’t cut out for academia and have talent for something else. Maybe it’s art, maybe it’s people. Maybe you’ve found it already, maybe you haven’t, and it’s okay. In the end, everything’s going to be alright. As long as you work hard for what you believe in, you will do great. Trust me.
Till then,
Keep it sassy
PS: These ideas are heavily inspired by Anna Akana: How to put on your face + Things Every Girl Should Know and The Representation Project: The Mask We Live in.
I totally agree, especially when it comes to the cycle of study to do an exam and then study to do another, repeat and redo. Often we feel that this is a never ending cycle; my view is that there is another way.
ReplyDeleteFor my part, it took me eight years to complete a degree, almost all of it part time. At first, I had the impression that this task was like jumping through fire hoops; one exam passed, another to do (and well).
It took me years to understand that you "can" look at it like a series of obstacles that appear never-ending or very much close to it.
Or...
Understand that education is essentially a journey through knowledge and experience and that, if looked at in this way, you see that learning is no longer a burden. In effect, it's a path of things to appreciate and do better at, not a series of eternal testing and ad homonym exams.
If you look at it this way, you will do better, be happier, and not look at your education as a ruthless challenge. You will learn more, retain more, ultimately your ability as a student increases exponentially.
Learn to love what you are being taught, this is the key. LEARN to enjoy and appreciate the complexities of what you are being taught: I guarantee you that you will look back at your time with fulfilment instead of dread.
Education is more important than ever in the modern day. Personally, I'll be a student for my entire life, one way or another, as it truly is the one thing that, once acquired, it belongs to you forever.
Nobody can take away your education and believe me, you were all very fortunate to have this chronicler as a teacher.
-A